Well, basketball hasn't been as awesome as I anticipated. First of all, my team has lost both of its first games. They haven't been complete blowouts. Today's game was pretty close, but still, we've lost both and it's kind of depressing. Today, I was put in as point guard for my team, and I did pretty good. No big passing mistakes and no one got a steal off me. But in the game, for both my two lay-up attempts, I missed and they were really easy shots. At the end, the score was 26 to 29. If I'd made them, we would've have won our first game of the season. Sitting on the bench and watching as the game came to a disappointing end, I sulked and mentally reprimanded myself for missing the shots. When I got home, I kept sulking, still angry about my performance. And it wasn't until about an hour ago when my mom asked what was wrong that I finally stopped. I told her it was all my fault my team had lost the game, that if I'd done better we would've won, and whole bunch of other complaints about how I played. Then she said it: "It sounds to me like you're just being prideful, Jake."
I was speechless. Me? Prideful? I'm beating myself up for missing two layups! How am I being prideful?
I asked her how, and she replied, "You're only thinking about yourself. How you did. How your game went." In other words, it was all about me. Nothing else mattered. I sulked cause I didn't do great, I didn't impress everyone, I didn't make the shots and win the game. It was all about how I did. It really got me thinking and I realized that I'm like that a lot. Countless times I only contemplate how I'm doing and how I look doing it. And I don't spend one second thinking about anything else. How others are feeling. How others are doing. I'm completely oblivious to everybody else while locked away in my own little bubble where everything is about ME.
18: Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.
19: Better to be lowly in spirit and among the oppressed than to share plunder with the proud.
I like what it says in Psalms 16:19. It pretty much says: It's better to not do great but be humble and have humility. Then to do great and be prideful. *sighs* I really messed up. Hopefully I won't be as susceptible to pride and selfishness next time but instead, have a humble attitude and be considerate to how others are feeling and not just myself.
Just thought I'd share that...